In the first episode, the tools find out that they’ve been dragged to the show in order to receive some lessons in how to be good boyfriends. They’re quite surprised. These guys thought they were in the running for something called “The Her International Party King.” Ha. Think again, tool.

Instead they’ll be humiliated at every turn by their irate girlfriends and the vicious producers of Tool Academy.

One thing seems certain. These guys really weren’t expecting to be tools on the newest season of Tool Academy, and some of them seemed downright embarassed to be on the show. That’s a good thing. That might even mean there’s hope somewhere inside these Neanderthals to make change. But don’t hold your breath.

What makes the tools stay on the show? $100,000, of course. The lucky winner of the nine entrants will get a reward of $100,000. But first they’ll have to convince their girlfriends and the cast of experts that they’re really making strides in becoming decent boyfriends. Each week, another tool will be voted off the show. At that point their girlfriend can decide to stay with them, or move on to a tool-free life.

Tool “Josh” has already been show the door. Not only would he not leave correctly, but it took host Jordan Murphy screaming at him uncontrollably to get him to leave. He cried to his girlfriend and told her that if she loved him she would repeat the phrase over and over as the two left the set.

If you like seeing dumbasses humiliated, then Tool Academy 2 promised to be good fun. The current candidates are truly vomit-worthy, so the idea of picking a winner from this crowd might prove difficult.

The real money, though, often lies in what comes after. “It’s all about the endorsements and other appearances. There’s a lot of heat coming off that show,” one TV agent said.

Lauren Conrad has gone from nobody to television mega-celebrity by committing her young adult life to video on the MTV series “Laguna Beach” and its follow-up “The Hills.” No longer simply an aspiring fashion designer, she has launched her own clothing line on the back of her cable network visibility.

Her fellow cast members Heidi Montag, Audrina Patridge and Whitney Port have similarly diversified into music, film acting, fashion design, earning themselves millions of dollars in the process.

Even though the money might not be great, the exposure is enough to open the door for higher-paying opportunities. Reality TV is a bridge back to fame.

According to reports, the basic premise is easy. Nicole is looking for the next “Nicole Richie.” Richie (the one we know) will round up seven girls and test their ability to rocket themselves to fame.

Keeping the motif, the winner will be awarded with a Reality TV show to call their own, so these contestants will need to have some talent (or something.)

At least three cable networks are interested in biting on this one..

The yet unnamed show will be a “slice of life” featuring their twin babies Max and Emme and will showcase Jennifer Lopez’s amazing ability to be a new mother, and do every other thing she has to do as well as serve as co-executive producer. (Marc Anthony must be an afterthought..)

“I am excited to be part of the TLC family,” Jennifer said. “I’m looking forward to sharing this exciting journey together.”

The series is currently in production and doesn’t have a release date.

What’s the gist of this show? 20 male and female contestants vie for the enviable position of being Paris Hilton’s new best friend. (I guess that Benji Madden won’t be participating.)

Hilton said she’s looking for the following:
“Someone that I can just trust, someone who’s not gonna stab me in the back like has happened a lot in this town, someone I can have fun with.

What’s in it for the winner? An all-access pass to the VIP section of the VIP section and the chance to hang out with Paris Hilton and her little dogs, too.

The series is slated to run in the fourth quarter of 2008 on MTV.